Total Sly Island
by SpongeHarold23
Summary: This is Total Sly Island! Arpeggio is the host, and 22 other Sly charecters are contestants!


NOTE: I've decided to edit this story since I wrote this when I was young and foolish. So without further ado, here you go!

Chapter 1: Meet the Campers!

Arpeggio is sitting in his cage, waiting for his cue. The director yells action, and he begins to speak.

"Welcome, fine fellows, to Total Sly Island!" Arpeggio introduced. "This is a show that is hot, but can be tamed. Like tea, for example. Now enough about tea, let's quit dilly-dallying and get a move on, shall we? If you are reading this, you must obviously like Sly Cooper, right? Well, 22 Sly Cooper characters are going to compete head to head to compete for 1,000,000 coins! Ah, yes. That is a LOT of money, don't you think? But at least I get half as much for hosting. If you are reading this, you must know the rules to Total Drama Island. So I won't bore you any further. Let's meet the contestants! Here comes one now!" Arpeggio finishes, gesturing to a boat coming near the dock.

The boat drops off Sly Cooper, an eager raccoon that comes from a long line of master thieves. Sly turns to Arpeggio.

"Arpeggio!" said Sly. "Long time, no see. I though you were dead."

"I was brought back to life, my boy." Arpeggio replied. "Now ski-daddle your way over there so the next contestant may arrive."

"Okay." Sly acknowledged.

"Here comes the next contestant!" Arpeggio said lightly.

The next boat drops off a turtle, but not just any old turtle. It is Bentley, the genius behind the Cooper gang. But there is something else about him that is different. Sly gasps.

"Bentley!" Sly says excitedly. "I haven't seen you in a long time, buddy! And you're walking!"

"Don't forget I'm a genius, partner." Bentley said. "I figured it out."

"Glad to hear it, pal." Sly said. "That old wheelchair would hold you back from challenges."

Another boat came to the dock and dropped off Murray the hippo. He is wearing his "The Murray" suit.

"Sly! Bentley!" Murray exclaims. "You guys are here! Just like old times!"

Murray embraces them in a crushing bear hug. Bentley yelps, but recovers.

"Murray, glad to see you too." Sly said.

"I can't wait to rock this contest as if it were one of my grand prix races!" Murray yells, letting go of Sly and Bentley and flexing his muscles.

"But don't forget we are all enemies here." Bentley said. "Unless we're on the same team."

"All we can do is hope." Murray sighed.

The next boat comes and drops off Carmelita, a charming fox. As a cop, she and Sly had run into each other numerous times.

"Hey honey!" Sly said waving to his sweetheart.

"Hey, Ringtail." Carmelita said, kissing Sly on the nose. "No tricks on me, okay?"

"Wouldn't dream of it." Sly said innocently.

"Don't think I won't hold back." Carmelita added.

"I'm not either." Sly said.

"I wonder where Penelope is..." Bentley thought out loud.

The next boat drops off Neyla, a cheetah with a evil side.

"Neyla!" Carmelita, Arpeggio, Sly, Bentley, and Murray exclaim in unison.

"That's me." Neyla said smugly, looking at her nails.

"What the heck are you doing, you leg-breaking cockney betrayer?" Bentley shouts.

"Winning this competition." Neyla said smugly.

"As if that'll happen, cheetah lady." Sly said defiantly. "Or should I say, CHEATER!"

"I'm a tiger..." Neyla remarked.

Sly grit his teeth. Arpeggio stares at the next boat coming to the dock as Sly and Neyla are continuing to argue.

The next boat drops off The Guru, Murray's old Dreamtime Master.

"Haja Haja!" The Guru says as he steps off the boat.

"Is it just me," Neyla began, "Or is this guy retarded or something?"

The Guru jumps on Neyla's back and controls her mind. He commands her to jump off of the dock, which she does.

The Guru jumps off Neyla's back, unharmed by the water. Neyla shakes the water off her fur and glares at the Guru. He just smiles.

The next boat drops off Penelope, a smart mouse that happens to be Bentley's girlfriend.

"Penelope!" Bentley exclaims. "You're finally here!"

"Indeed I am, Bentley." Penelope agrees. "Indeed I am."

"Way to state the obvious." Neyla remarks.

"You know no one likes you." Bentley said with a weird anger in his voice. "So please shut up."

"Harsh." Neyla said.

The next boat arrives and drops off Panda King, an Asian panda with a bad background.

"Hello, Sly Cooper." Panda King says. "It is an honor to meet again."

"As for you, Panda King." Sly said.

"Wow. A firework artist. Nice." Arpeggio remarked.

"Well, I keep my display at a bare minimum." Panda King said.

The next boat drops off Dimitri, a lounge lizard with a bit of swagger, plus a desire for diving.

"Dimitri in the HIZZAY!" Dimitri shouted at the top of his lungs.

Dimitri's voice was so loud, it knocked Neyla over. She fell in the water again.

"Maybe you shouldn't stand so close to the edge, Neyla." Carmelita laughed.

"Shut up, Inspector Fake!" Neyla shouted back.

"You shouldn't be talking." Carmelita replied.

"Rrrrrrrgh." Neyla growled.

The next boat dropped off Muggshot, an extremely strong bulldog with machine guns to boot.

"Oh crap." Sly said quietly.

"Meep." Bentley agreed.

"Shut up, Turtle face." Muggshot said.

"No one talks that way to my-" Murray began before Muggshot pushed him off the dock.

"Take that, pig." said Neyla.

"I'm a hippo, you idiot!" Murray shouted, annoyed.

Muggshot just randomly shot his machine guns in the air and howled.

The next boat dropped off the Contessa, a spider with hypnosis powers.

"Hello, Sly Cooper." The Contessa said with anger in her voice.

"Not the Contessa!" Carmelita shrieked as she hid behind her luggage.

"Inspector Fox!" The Contessa exclaimed. "I wish I finished you!"

"Well, you didn't." Sly said, defending Carmelita. "I got her to arrest you before things got too ugly."

"No duh, dumb crap." Neyla said.

The next boat dropped off Clockwerk, a mechanic owl who killed Sly's father and stole pages from the Thievius Raccoonus.

The minute Sly saw him, he ran away.

"Oh nononononono!' Sly screamed. "There is no way he is on this show!"

"Oh and we were going to have so much fun!" Clockwerk said evilly.

Sly screamed again.

Carmelita got out her shock pistol.

"If you hurt Sly," Carmelita began, "Then I will hurt YOU!"

"Touchy." Clockwerk ignored. "Neyla, you look gorgeous today."

"Why thank you." Neyla said without smugness. "And I must say you look...active today."

"As usual." Clockwerk said, admiring himself.

The next boat arrives, dropping off Dr. M, a monkey that is an evil mastermind and used to run with Sly's father back in their hay-day.

"Ah, Sly Cooper." Dr. M said casually, as if Sly were an old friend.

"What do you want?" Sly asked, angry at Arpeggio for bringing his enemies on the show.

"He wants 1,000,000 coins!" Arpeggio chimes in. "Now, save the quarreling for later, because our next contestant is arriving!"

The next boat dropped off General Tsao, a chicken with an ancestry to... (Please don't say boot again...) Boot. (COME ON!)

"Ah, Sly-"General Tsao began.

"SHUT UP!" Sly shouted at the top of his lungs. "JUST SHUT UP! EVERYONE KNOWS MY NAME SO JUST SHUT UP!

General Tsao was silent for a moment of awkward silence. He broke the silence, saying "Jesus, can't I just greet people like anyone else?"

The next boat dropped off LeFwee, a sea-faring pirate with a bad reputation.

"Arrgh, if it isn't..." LeFwee began before seeing Tsao telling him not to say "Sly Cooper."

Not noticing what the chicken was mouthing, he said, "General Tsao. It's been years!"

Sly fell off the dock.

"Maybe we should leave him alone for a while..." Bentley said.

"Yeah..." Penelope said.

"I'm all wet!" Sly said happily.

The next boat dropped off Sir Raleigh the Frog, a rich frog that went mad with piracy and mechanical engineering.

"Hello, old chaps." Raleigh said. "Where is Sly?"

"His mind is in the blender right now." Bentley said.

Raleigh just stared at Bentley, since he really thought Sly's brain was obliterated by a blender.

"Figuratively." Bentley added.

"Ah..." Raleigh responded. "Okay..."

The next boat dropped off Ms. Ruby, a crocodile that specializes in vicious voodoo. But something seems amiss about her. She seems a bit...cheerful.

"Well, I am here, so, uh, hi." Ms. Ruby said.

"You seem much more nervous than when I arrested you..." Carmelita said.

"Well, I now have 5 therapists that help me with my voodoo issues." Ms. Ruby said. "Never again shall I do voodoo!"

"Awkward..." muttered Bentley to Sly. "Just...awkward."

The next boat dropped off Rajan, a tiger spice lord from India.

"Where the heck is Sly Cooper?" Rajan asked aloud. "I have a few choice words for him!"

"He's- "Bentley started before Sly climbed onto the dock.

"Wow..." Murray said. "You're alive."

"Yeah, of course I am." Sly said. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Dude!" said Dimitri. "What does 'I'm all wet!' mean to you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about?" Sly asked.

"You're mind was in a blender, figuratively." Raleigh said.

"Okay, here are my choice words for you, Sly." Rajan began before a foghorn from the next boat interrupted Rajan's next words.

Jean Bison was riding on the next boat. Jean Bison is a bison from Canada who was frozen for 200+ years. He shipped spices using trains. He jumped off, did a little flip, and landed...almost perfectly.

He slipped on some stray water and fell flat on his butt.

Jean Bison stood up. Everyone was laughing at him. Jean snorted. "Y'all can shut yer traps."

"Ooh, harsh." Arpeggio said.

"Arpeggio, you too." Jean said.

The next boat dropped off Octavio, a lion that can sing... evilly.

"Octavio's in the hooooouuuuuse!" Octavio sang.

His voice knocked everyone over and off the dock, even Octavio.

"Wow, I didn't know I had it in me." Octavio said.

"Well, ya did." Jean said.

The next boat dropped off The Mask of Dark Earth, a...mask...of dark Earth...yeah.

"Hahahahahaaaaaaa..." The Mask laughed darkly.

"Hajaja haaaaaajaja!" The Guru shouted, hiding behind Murray.

"I'll take care of this mask puke!" Murray said.

"Not so fast!" The Mask said.

"Holy crap!" Murray said. "The Mask can talk! My mask can talk, or run, or do...other stuff."

"Neither does my grandpa." Penelope said. "Yet he is still alive. It's interesting how things work in the world…"

The final boat dropped off Jing King, Panda King's daughter.

"Hello, Sly Cooper." Jing King said happily.

"Hello." Said Sly politely.

Her expression changed when she saw General Tsao. Her eyes narrowed, her brow furrowed, her teeth were bared.

"You!" She said with blind fury.

She leapt at him and attacked. General Tsao screamed his chicken head off. The Panda King stared wide-eyed at the whole scene for the whole scene. Tsao managed to pull Jing King off.

"You tried to marry me!" Jing King said. "You must die!"

"I'm sorry!" Tsao said, throwing her off the dock.

Jing King got wet. Panda King and Jing King looked at Tsao and did the "I'm watching you" motion. Tsao gulped.

"Oh crap." Said Tsao.

The next boat dropped off someone that wasn't familiar to anyone on the dock, except for Carmelita and Arpeggio, who signed the mercenary up in the first place.

His name was Vince, and he was one of Carmelita's old mercenaries. He was an ape, not a big one, though. He was pretty scrawny, for an ape, and very short. He wore glasses and a police hat that was three sizes to big for him. He shook like a little Chihuahua.

"Uh, hi. I'm Vince." Vince said, shyly.

"Hey, Vince!" Carmelita said, giving him a pat on the back. Vince fell over at the force of the pat.

"Wow, I've never seen you before." Sly said as Vince got up to his feet.

"Usually, no offense, we see much bigger and buffer people out in the field." Bentley added.

"Yes, I am weak, short, and, well, unknown." Vince said. "That's because I was a mercenary in training. When Carmelita quit, a new officer came in. He was too much for me to handle, since he was a former drill sergeant. I quit after a month with him. Carmelita, you were much nicer."

"Thanks, I try." Carmelita said, blushing.

"Well, we're all here!" Arpeggio said. "Now for a group picture! Pose everyone!"

"Wait a minute." Murray said. "This isn't rigged, is it? The dock won't break, right?"

Arpeggio just chuckled and took the picture. The dock broke and everyone floundered around in the water.

"Murray, you should learn not to talk sometimes." Sly said.

"Yeah, I have to work on that..." Murray said.

"Now to your cabins, your first challenge is about to start!" Arpeggio said. "Dry off, take a shower, talk to your cat or goldfish, do whatever it takes to get you ready!"

Arpeggio left without helping the campers. The campers struggled out of the water and went to their cabins, awaiting their next challenge.


End file.
